Nail it this Mother’s Day, dads!

Everyone will have their own personal wish list and opinions, so this is just what I think based on my experiences as a mum and motherhood photographer in Cornwall. I might take it a step too far into wishful thinking but I believe that if dads did any of the suggestions that follow, they’d be well on their way to husband (or partner) of the year!

Mums with little children are exhausted. That’s a given. But what is Mother’s Day? Well, quite obviously it’s another made up occasion for businesses to make money off, isn’t it! That might be a first thought. But you have to think of it from a mum’s perspective. I don’t know how old your children are but I do know that being a mother is tough. Motherhood is something I don’t think most fathers can fully comprehend at an emotional level. Dads can switch off. They can tune out somehow. Mums can’t - we’re biologically hardwired to hear and respond to every need of our offspring, and if we can’t fix or solve it, we agonise over it. We worry, we bear the emotional weight of the entire family.

Also, mums hardly get a minute of peace. Maybe you have older children and they’re more independent now, but that doesn’t stop the worrying and child-related chores.

Day in, day out, there’s a lot of stuff mums do that nobody every acknowledges or even sees. For some of us, it is really nice to have a designated one day out of 365 where our little tribe stops for a minute and thinks “Hey, she does do a lot. She is kind of awesome! Thank you!” We don’t complain, but it’s nice to get some praise! Everyone loves being appreciated. It makes us happier, feel more loving and more giving. It gives us strength to keep going.

She needs you, dad

Women are strong, but we love to feel supported and appreciated. Your job on this day is to let her know what a great job she’s doing throughout the year. Remember that she’s a person with yearnings and dreams and preferences that don’t involve wiping bums, Peppa Pig and cleaning mouldy food bits out the cracks of the high chair!

We don’t always know if we’re doing this right, and can quite often feel overcome with doubt and even guilt. We can’t prevent every accident or bad day or obstacle for our little ones, and even though we’re always there to pick them up or cheer them on, our hearts break regularly.

So maybe this year, don’t get her that pink floral mug from Tesco’s and garage flowers. Or Milk Tray and a pair of socks. Or whatever it is you think you can get away with. Because most mums will secretly want to tell you to shove your bog standard, unimaginative, thoughtless ‘present’. Want to know what mums really want for Mother’s Day? Here are some ideas to give you the jist.

A day off.
I don’t mean a couple of hours at a spa, or taking her out for a walk and lunch - although those are lovely things to do. If you want the mum in your life to feel truly spoilt, do all of her jobs for the day. I mean getting the kids fed, dressed, brushed and washed. Make her morning tea/coffee and breakfast. Put on a load of washing. Put away all the laundry. Do some cleaning - really! Organise lunch and take aways for dinner. Help with bath and bed time for the kids. Try to take care of the donkey work for the day, leaving her chilled and feeling loved. Nothing is more luxurious to me than having someone else do my chores. So go above and beyond and do as much as you can for the day.
Whatever you do, don’t give her the day off, but not do anything yourself so it piles up and she has extra work later. She’ll loathe you on Monday morning.
Quality time with the kids.
Some mums might disagree, but my favourite thing in the world is having relaxed, fun, bonding time with my children when I’m not feeling stressed out about what I have to do. This ties in naturally with number 1 above but if you want to fill up a mother and replenish her, then some serious quality 1-1 time with her kids is gold. Book an activity or plan a day out that they’ll enjoy together. Your job is to be sherpa, pack the day out bag, get everything ready - take it all off her hands and manage the details. Let her enjoy the kids and herself for a change.
Flowers
We do love flowers but they have to be nice. Order some from the florist who did your wedding flowers for example. Make them special. And don’t hand her the bunch wrapped in plastic and then make her have the job of putting them in a vase. Do that bit yourself. And in a week’s time when they’re wilting and dying, get rid of them and clean out the vase yourself. It’s those simple gentlemanly gestures that will go a long way.
Gifts with meaning
I know it’s supposed to be from the kids, and they should have the chance to choose what they’d like to get her (age-dependant of course). But take them somewhere nice to shop - an interiors store with really stylish stuff, or a quirky place she loves - whatever they choose will be great. Think of her, what she loves… Places that have meaning to her or to your family. Sometimes, a gift voucher is the best present!
Some guys won’t want to spend more than a couple of quid on a cheap box of chocs, but is that the guy you want to be? No. Splurge!
A heartfelt ‘Thank You’
This doesn’t cost a penny but means the most. A sincere thank you will go further than you can imagine. Dig deep, put yourself in her shoes, appreciate for a few moments all that she’s done in the last year. Her struggles, her challenges, all the unconditional love she’s shown even while she’s been tired and triggered. Her wisdom and kindness and patience… those kids aren’t going to appreciate it fully, so you have to say the words for them. THANK YOU. And tell her why.

6. A Mummy & Me photoshoot

At Curious Creatures Photography, one of the things I love the most is meeting mums, talking and listening to them about their experiences, seeing them with their little ones and photographing their love and beautiful moments. It’s so sad that very few of those everyday love-filled moments go by uncaptured. So if you think she’d like to have some of hers photographed, get her a gift voucher for a ‘Mummy and Me’ session. They are incredible and that has to be right at the top of ‘meaningful gifts’ for Mother’s Day. It can be a snuggling up photoshoot or treat her to a breastfeeding photography session - so popular with nursing mums who want to savour the bond they have in the earliest years.

So I hope I’ve given you some ideas of how you can think a bit more about what to do this Mother’s Day.

Thanks for reading! get in touch with your thoughts or enquiries.